I'm writing this to preserve my sanity. I'm not sure if I want anyone to read it, but somehow I hope it leads to making money. That's my biggest concern now. Money. Or lack thereof. If only I had more money then....

I'd pay my bills.

I wouldn't get scared when I think BahBi is sick.

I'd take the train to see Mom and Dad.

Probably in that order.

I talked to someone yesterday who recently lost everything financially. She did everything right. Just like I did. And now we sit here wondering what's next.

That's the scary part.